Author: Meredith Milke

With school and work life back in full swing, it’s easy for our schedules to fill up. Soon, if not already, we’re grabbing food as we run out the door & getting caught in the daily rush. You are not alone! I am spending a lot of time these days talking about aiming to live in a rhythm. What do I mean by this? Schedules & consistency are hard to stick to with ever changing appointments & practice, etc. Children and adults do well with consistency, but aiming for a RHYTHM is more realistic. Monday night is taco night or Sunday Funday or Yoga on Tuesdays…see what I mean? Being intentional about planning your family’s week can be a protective factor against stress. Living in a rhythm allows for all members to look forward to family connecting over dinner or preparing for that tough conversation about homework or the super high cell phone bill! The more we areproactive about aiming toward a rhythm, theless reactive our daily lives and thoughts can be. Don’t worry if you get out of rhythm….just notice what threw you off and get back on track. Plus, RHYTHM is a much more appealing word to all of us than “schedule,” don’t you think? 

-Meredith

Families are texting each other while in the same house. Teenagers are starting & ending relationships via text. Adults are making plans with friends or having hard and important conversations via long texts. Technology is very convenient, don’t get me wrong. (however, I did get in fender bender while reading a text….so take it from me, don’t text & drive!) Face to face communication is becoming a lost art & if we aren’t careful, our skills of connecting personally can atrophy. Just this week I reminded a young client about the importance of noticing someone’s tone of voice, body language and facial expressions when having an important conversation face to face. Although it can be awkward, pushing ourselves to exercise courage and clarity will not only protect against some miscommunication…it builds intimacy and trust. Parents – try not to talk negatively about texting, but instead MODEL good communication by talking more & having teachable moments. Expressing your thoughts and feelings face to face helps all of us later in life whether with roommates, teachers, bosses, partners & one another. Not to mention, having small conversations face to face about ordinary topics lays the foundation for hard conversations about sex, money, limits, homework, etc! I’d love to hear your feedback on this topic!

-Meredith

We all have it. We all need more of it. But what exactly is Self-Esteem? Those of us who practice the Satir Model of therapy often refer to Virginia Satir’s “Self-Esteem Toolkit” as a way to take care of our self-esteem. I like to describe our self-esteem or soul as a precious “plant” that we must take care of, water, feed, love, etc. Without nourishment, our self-esteem suffers. Using the Self-Esteem Tools often allows us to recognize which areas we need to strengthen – maybe it’s our ability to say “Yes” or “No” and be clear with others…or accessing more courage to enter a tough conversation or event…or taking the time to love ourself & others. Parents often wonder “HOW in the world to help my child improve their self-esteem?” Adolescents often want the same thing…and look at everyone else as having higher self-esteem. We talk about this SO much in therapy! Growing in confidence to be yourself and becoming more comfortable in your own skin takes work! Learning to speak your mind, love others, be courageous, hope & dream, and analyze your options are just a few things we work on using Satir methods in therapy.

Our basic longing to be loved and accepted comes from the God who made us and is crazy about us. Just as we are! If only we could believe it & live like it…how much different would our days be?